Now's As Good A Time As Any

July was a really good month for me. Let’s go August! Be good too!

I think I had a dream that I wrote to Madonna and she wrote me back. I think my e-mail said that some of the singles on her last few albums have been really good, and I’m impressed with the way she’s managed her career. I think in the dream I forgot about all the Kaballah crap and cultivating a British accent.

In the dream, I figured she must spend as much time each day replying to e-mails as she does working out.

It must have stemmed from what I was thinking the other day: that there are probably some people who are famous to me who aren’t actually famous enough that they get as many nice e-mails as they’d like. For example: the Dispatch film critic, Frank Gabrenya. He’s been doing solid work as long as I’ve lived in this town. I can’t say whether he’s one of the top critics in the country or anything, but I highly value his opinion because I have a comfort level with him that comes from familiarity. He might be the sort of guy who would appreciate a nice e-mail from a reader. Maybe he’s not too swamped already.

Try to spot me in this video. Hint: it’s not too freaking difficult.

I wish I could feel good about being an American. Some of my favorite people in the world are Americans. In fact, most of my favorite people are. But there’s so much baggage. And I can’t get rid of it by myself. Alone, the best I can do is go be a citizen of some other country instead.

I never understood what those “Power of Pride” bumper stickers were supposed to mean. I would be a lot prouder of my country if we either gave up a lot of our power or used it a lot more sensitively and responsibly.

Some kind of documentary showing Prince in the studio. He made those records where he played all the instruments…I wanna see how he did that! Same with Todd Rundgren, although I suspect there’s some footage somewhere.

…and went for a job with a law firm, or otherwise went for a position as some kinda practicing lawyer kinda thing…today would have been the end of my first day taking the bar exam.

Instead, today was just another wacky and wonderful day in my charmed life! Yay for quitting law school!

I just realized that I’m signed up to teach on four OSU gamedays. But not just teach…teach in Athens. Oh well. It’ll be like the season I worked at Meijer and kept trying to bag in a lane under one of the speakers in the ceiling that was playing the game on the radio. The day of the Texas game, I’ll have to be in Athens all day long. But I think I’ll be done in time to watch down there.

Why do people who drive 90 mph on the highway stop at red lights? Why not go all the way if you’re going to be a dangerous jerk?

I’m still feeling very good about the big decisions I’ve made recently. I have one pretty solid source of income and about three or four marvelous schemes for scratching my way up from subsistence. At least one’s of them’s got to work!

There were tacos. There was beer. It really was free. I had some of each. There was nobody I knew there. So then I left.

Be there.

Who’s there?
Dennis Miller.
Dennis Mill-
Interrupting Dennis Miller!

Kind of.

If people in Israel/Lebanon/Syria/Iran don’t value peace, the lives of people who are different from them, or in some cases even their own lives, then let ‘em kill each other. Bastards. We should have nothing to do with it.

In Iraq, it’s our fault, and the moral thing to do is to continue to sacrifice thousands of our countrymen to save the potentially millions of theirs who would die in a civil war. That, or reinstall Saddam, who in addition to being a heartless, evil bastard is a wily old man and can display extraordinary savvy.

I think Americans always kind of liked the guy. Just think of how many Hollywood movies he’s appeared in as the comic foil! Hot Shots!, Hot Shots! Part Deux, The Big Lebowski, Jane Austen’s Mafia! (and in those last four, he was played by the same actor, Jerry Haleva, who has never played any other role), and, of course, the South Park movie! He’s a superstar!

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYY!!!!